We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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