I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
