If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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