at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
