shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
