margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
