i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
