The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
