Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
