I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
