We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
