We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
