There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
