Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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