worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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