i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize