We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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