Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
