Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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