who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
