Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
