last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
handjob tips. give me some.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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