we're blogging at a bar
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
