Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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