so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
