the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
