Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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