The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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