i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
