her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
