Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
