hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
