Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize