My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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