I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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