Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
