Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian