batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.