I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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