Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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