How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
