it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
