with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
