My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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