Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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