hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
