so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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