If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
