I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
