And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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