You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
