wakey wakey hands off snakey
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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