Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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