He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If I die, sorry about rent.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
