I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
