38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
a search helicopter?!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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