Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm both gender and math confused
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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