Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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