Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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