would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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