I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
