Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
