I CAN MOONWALK!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
