I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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