The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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