franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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