Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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